We are Flowers not Fungi

We need sunlight
for there is a brighter world, a brighter side to everything.
We are fostered and we flounder under sunshine.

We are not fungi
for we do not thrive under rocks and dark, wet crevices.
We die alone in the darkness for no one else wants to join.

Edit:
I read my brother this and I asked,

"so are you a flower or fungi?"
and he said flower.

10 minutes later he goes
"no.. i'm a fungi"
"ew"
"fun guy"

reminds me of mr. nelson's torturous idiotic bio classes...
my brother=mr. nelson?

I'm wreck right now.
The walls around me are falling
I feel like my heart's been penetrated by something pleasant that turned rotten and pulled out, leaving a big gaping hole.
In my head, it's not that complicated
but in my heart, I can't control the valves to my tears, to my shortening breaths, to the searing feeling that I get in my heart as it's being shattered into a million shards.
I think it would've been better if he just said, I just don't like you anymore.
Then I could've just thrown "asshole" and turned my back, and walked away.

What can you do when you still love someone but you can't be with them.
How do you glue back a broken heart.
When your mom asks you what's wrong, why do you say you just watched a sad drama?
Is my life a sad drama...

Joohee & Julia

Last night I watched Julie & Julia which is about a woman named Julie who finds herself through cooking. She follows the steps of Julia Child using Child's cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I'd say it's an excellent movie and quite inspiring given that it's based on a true story. So Julie keeps this blog about her cooking 524 meals in 365 days and that's how she becomes famous, writes a book, and makes this movie that I watched. It reminded me of two things I love to do: cooking & writing, both of which I've slacked off on this summer. So I guess I'll be blogging a lot more from now on.

Well I'm going to go to the Cheesecake factory now and be that epicurean I've always dreamed to be. And maybe while waiting on the dreaded queue I'll drop by Barnes and pick up a copy of Julia Child's cookbook. More inspiring must be done today!

it's amazing

how much someone can tear your heart apart

Self Assessment #Google

I don't know. I feel terrible. I'm physically not well but also mentally burdened. I had no idea why before and for hours and hours I thought about it. Why do I feel so uncomfortable, so vulnerable, so tired, and weary?

I think I've found the root of my problem.

I was surfing facebook and viewing the profiles of random Georgetown kids. Some were just ordinary mainstream, Gossip Girl watching cosmopolitans. Some were hardcore guitar strumming, Hendrix-listening, band rockers. Others were sports fanatics who were really into the whole Hoya image. However, there were a special few, those you could immediately identify and say, "wow this person is going to be big in the future." There is no arrogance or superficiality. They are not terribly ugly. They are not terribly pretty. Normal looking kids, but strong amazing hearts and spirit. No matter what labels are stuck to them, they flaunt them and take pride in them.

Example: If someone is Muslim, they are SO proud of it. If they are a humanitarian, they are SO active in it. Their beliefs are so resonant from the first moment that one can not help but to give enormous respect where due, even if the beliefs do not coincide with one's own.

And I guess that's where I have my problem. I've always believed myself to be a strong person, in my opinions, in leadership, etc. However, I guess I'm strong when I do believe it, but wishy-washy when choosing what to believe (does that makes sense?). So I need to get my priorities straight. I need to know what I believe in and advocate it headstrong. If someone has a problem with it, I can't feel like I'm being attacked. I must use reason and logic, two things that I have avoided and instead opted for anger. I will change I will change